Wednesday, February 18, 2009

"Excuse me"

Our NYC lesson for today.

On the NYC subway, the words "excuse me" never mean "excuse me." They always mean ... well, here's a selection of possible meanings:

1) Get your fat ass out of my way so I can get on the train
2) Get your fat ass out of the my way so I can get OFF the train
3) Take those ear buds out of your ears so you can hear me ask you politely to get your fat ass out of my way so I can get on/off the train
4) Move your crap (aka backpack--which should NEVER be worn on a crowded train; giganto purse; giganto briefcase; giganto purse, briefcase and backpack; overflowing grocery bags; suitcase) so you can get your fat ass out of my way so I can get on/off the train.

That about covers it.

It also works when trying to shove oneself into a seat surrounded by people who are, frankly, taking up more than their fair share of space.

"Excuse me" said twice would include all of the above plus a curse word in front of "fat ass," "way" and "train."

So now you know what "excuse me" means on the NYC subway.

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